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IN 1625, THE MISSIONARY ‘FRIAR BEETROOT’ AND HIS BRETHREN CAME TO WARRINGTON TOWN, ON A QUEST TO SEEK FOR THE ‘HOLY VEHICLE OF HOAGIE.’

IT WAS RUMORED THAT WHOEVER POSSESSED THE LOST RELIC, WOULD SET MAN FREE FROM THE ETERNAL MERCY OF HUNGER, THIRST, AND GREED AND SHOW HIM THE CULINARY WISDOM TO CREATE ANY RECIPE AT WILL.

FOR THIRSTY SCORE YEARS OR MORE, THE FRIAR SCOURED THE PLAINS OF WARRINGTON, UNTIL ONE DAY, WHILE SHELTERING FROM AN APPROACHING STORM IN, AN OLD ABANDONED CATTLE SHED, HE DISCOVERED A RUSTY CASKET LYING INSIDE OF WHAT LOOKED LIKE AN OLD WOODED APPLE CART.

ON CLOSER INSPECTION, FRIAR BEETROOT MARVELLED AT THE INTRICATE CARVINGS ENGRAVED ON THE CASKET, SO HE DECIDED TO OPEN IT TO SEE WHAT WAS INSIDE….

BEEF BURGUIGNON, CHICKEN IN A TUSCANY LEMON SAUCE, SPICY MOROCCON MEATBALLS, DILL MASH, ROASTED LAMBED SOAKED COUS COUS, CHEESE STICKS, MELBA TOAST, SALMON, OLIVE AND ROCKET BAGUETTES PERMEATED THE FRIARS THOUGHTS…

CHINESE BANANA FRITTERS, PINEAPPLE WITH RUMBLED MASCARPONE, BLACK CHERRY FLAN, AND EXOTIC RUBY FRUIT SALAD FILLED HIS NOSTRILS.

THE FRIAR FELL TO HIS KNEES AND TRIED HIS HARDEST TO PRAY; BUT ALL HE COULD THINK ABOUT, WAS THE MANGETOUT AND BEEF STIR FRY THAT HE WAS PLANNING TO COOK FOR HIS BRETHREN WHEN HE GOT HOME.

IT WAS AT THAT INSTANT AND OUT OF NOWHERE A VOICE CALLED ONTO THE FRIAR.

‘I AM THE SPIRIT OF THE HOAGIE WAGON AND YOUR QUEST IS AT AN END. GO FORTH FROM THIS DAY AND LIBERATE MAN’S SOUL WITH THE KNOWLEDGE OF FOOD, CHEER AND WINE.

TAKE MY VEHICLE AND THIS CASKET OF KNOWLEDGE AND SPREAD MY WORD; CHRONICLE ALL THAT YOU SEE AND ALL THAT YOU DO AND PASS THIS KNOWLEDGE DOWN FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION.’

WITH THIS, FRIAR BEETRROT SUMMONED HIS BRETHREN AND TOOK THE HOAGIE WAGON BACK TO THE FRIARY.

THAT NIGHT THE FRIAR  ENTERTAINED HIS BROTHERS AND HIS PET DOG ((NOW RENAMED CHOW MEIN); BY PUTTING ON A FEAST OF SPANISH TAPAS, THAI GREEN CURRY DISHES AND FOR DESSERTS……. BLACK FOREST GATAEU AND PROFITEROLE ICE CREAMED TRIFLE, ETC, ETC, ETC….